Do I use my bike? Why do you ask? I do feel a bit bad about the whole thing. Spending so much on a bike, then really not using it as much as it should be used. I've been tempted to sell my bike to another Sister, but it has my name on it! I really like the bike! But, to answer the question: we are able to use our bike every once in a while, typically about twice a month. When we use to live in Conway, we would bike to downtown almost once a week (15 miles roundtrip). This transfer, we sometimes put the bikes on the back of our car, drive to Lake Nona, then do some bike tracting (for two hours or so) because the houses are so far apart. But most of the time, it does sit in the garage. I use to want to ship the bike home after my mission, but now I'm thinking I'll just sell it to a Sister for half price.
This week went a lot better. I feel like we are improving. The work is still slow and our numbers are low, but I am learning a lot about myself! I think that is the biggest teaching that I am to learn from these last two transfers. It's an opportunity to review myself and make goals to improve and grow. It's interesting how I can know the doctrine, having learned it since I was young, but then have an "Aaha!" moment and actually understand how it personally applies to my life. I'm learning to have a lot more "Aaha" moments and trying to make sure I write them all down. One thing I learned was how to give my full will to God. I never understood how to do it, but it starts in my mind. I need to make the commitment to put aside my wishes, hopes, desires and give everything to God. I am learning how to make my wishes, hopes, desires to become in line with God's. I'm learning the purpose of this life. Of course, I knew what it was, but it's finally becoming internalized within me. I'm actually being able to make it click in my mind. I just hope I will be able to apply it to my future life. There is so much I want to do, but I fear the stresses of the world will push them down. It takes a lot of work, but I am excited for the opportunity to use my agency and make my goals become a reality. I love how the mission is a time to help us form who we want to become and prepare for the future.
General Conference was a great opportunity! In my journal, I wrote down the speaker, what they said, then my own notes and thoughts as they spoke. Also, I happen to have a sketch drawing of each of the speakers. In the middle of last week, I've decided to stop hiding all my talents under the bushel, so I threw the bushel away and I've set a new goal to be more willing to develop my piano skills, drawing skills, and whatever else I can think of. Of course, that applies more to after the mission, but I thought I'd help myself focus on the speakers by sketching them while I was listening. It was a unique experience. I still have a lot more to learn from conference, for I had asked to be given inspiration for the right questions to ask. Why? Once, I was told that we need to ask for the right questions, not the right answers, for revelation comes from the questions that we ask. And so, my notes are full of many questions that came to my mind. Now, I will need to sit down and start trying to answer those questions, and let the spirit guide my writing. It was great because many of the goals I had recently set for myself were addressed in conference and I felt it was the spirit confirming the decisions I was making for my life.
So, now that I'm growing personally, I need to work on how to apply that to the work. We have improved this week compared to the last few weeks, but we must continue forth step by step. It still feels like a struggle for me because my whole purpose to come on a mission was to learn about myself and prepare for the future. Sadly, it was never about bringing others to the church. I always have the desire to help and strengthen friends, but the more doors we knock on, the more people use their agency to reject the gospel, the more I am discouraged with people's stubborn unwillingness to learn. I prefer to be a member missionary where I can be a good example and help my friends learn, than to everyday face people again and again who reject the gospel and are satisfied with where they are in life. But, ever onward. That's life.
‘Make no small plans: They have no magic to stir man’s souls.’ This is the vision I have for the South. I believe that one day the South will baptize more people into the church than all other English speaking missions in the world together. There are great hosts of marvelous Baptists, and members of the church of Christ, Methodists and Catholics who are honorable people, and have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and love him. As they see their church veering off to the right or to the left of these basic teachings, they will begin to search for the truth. And as pivotal teachers come into the church and have influence, we will see the time when we baptize hundreds and thousands, tens of thousands. In your day you will see a million members of the church in the South. There will be Temples plural in the Southern States. What a great call you have to serve with these marvelous people. ~Spencer W Kimball (1974)
