The First Law of Heaven

I think the hardest part about writing a weekly email home is the fact that I have a daily journal that is basically my thoughts of the day on paper. When I sit down at the computer, I have no idea what to write. As soon as I get home, I'll just hand over my journal. That's fine with me, and it's easy. I just go blank when I sit in front of the screen or with a pen and paper in hand. But, I've always been that way. I'm not much for letter-writing, I guess.

Well, my focus for the week is "Obedience". It's one of those things where I notice when others aren't being obedient, but at the same time, it's not like I'm even close to being exactly obedient. It's an instance when "why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" So I've been setting some goals and working on my self-discipline in actually focusing on my own obedience instead of getting annoyed by other's disobedience. It's going well. I've continued to notice a new perspective on the purpose of life and what I can do to better safeguard myself against all the things that this world throws at us. Also, it really does make life better and you find so much more joy in things when you've been exactly obedient. I am always tempted to just photocopy my journal and just send it in. My journal has become my scrapbook, quote collection, daily log, feelings record, venting session, study log, goal book, etc. But honestly, every time I write in my journal, I'm always thinking of how the things I say can impact the future generation. I have turned it into a venting session for a few weeks, but I'm trying to get it back on track. And still, every day I end my journal entree with a "tender mercy" and "something I learned". I fear I'll need to get a new journal before the end of my mission. Hope not! I fit nine months in my first journal. I'd like to fit the other nine months in this journal. We'll see...

On Saturday, we were able to gain permission to attend the ASL Thanksgiving Dinner in the Oviedo Ward. The members had called us to see if we could come and help. I was so happy to receive the permission to be able to attend. It was great! We helped set up the cultural hall, and we had over one hundred people show up - fifteen to twenty people were Deaf or Hard of Hearing. It was amazing! I was able to visit with the members and even see people I hadn't seen since I first came to Orlando. I can't believe that was eight months ago! Time flies!!! If one of the interpreters wasn't able to come (she's pregnant and due any time now), I was asked to voice interpret the program. Thankfully, she did arrive; and it was wonderful to visit with her and the other interpreters. I miss Oviedo! I'm curious if I'll be able to serve there again before the end of my mission.

Well, I sent another package - oops! I'm just decluttering my luggage I guess. This package is a parcel post through USPS and it is basically full of old letters people have sent to me. If you want to read them, Mom, I don't care. I'm sure there isn't much to learn from them, but it's got things from my MTC District and past companions, etc. But the main reason for sending the package was to ship home a "painting" that I've had since I first got to Orlando. The box was the right size to fit it. It's "The Judgments of Job". It was a cheap sale at Boyd’s LDS Book. It seemed to fit with my studies and such at the time so I bought it. It's been shown in my apt since I got it, but I had no idea how I'd get it home. I finally found a box that it would fit in safely so I sent it off.

Onward,
Sister Ellsworth

Seriously . . .

I don't write and you think I'm seriously ill? Really? sigh...

Today, you should be receiving a letter in the mail. It has my tender mercy and a short letter. Also, I sent home a package but there isn't anything in it of worth - just random things I've collected that has nothing to do with anything, but I don't like to throw stuff away.

Another talent I'm developing on my mission is learning how to cook. I can now say that I am comfortable cooking for two. I think I could actually survive cooking all three meals and actually have variety in what I make. It's been fun. But, another idea we have to help reach out to members is to cook them meals and bring it to them - since a lot of young families are too busy to make dinner for the missionaries. So, could I have the recipe for: tuna casserole, Danish hot cakes, English toffee, and eggs goldenrod? I still have the missionary meals in minutes recipes (actually I have two copies), but these four meals I've been craving; and although they are easy and I'm sure I could make them, I wanted to be sure by getting the right recipe instead of experimenting.

Sorry I don't have a lot to say. I loved the four generation picture for little Michael's blessing. I'm excited to hear about my new little niece when she is born. Oh, and Andrea will be married in the end of January. Well...ever onward.

No Change

So, the news for transfers ... nothing. No change. Well, actually, no one has talked to us yet, so we aren't sure what is going to happen. The way transfer calls work is that President will call you IF you are being transferred. We didn't get a call. Therefore, no change. Ever onward!

Next week, I will be emailing on Tuesday because we have Elder Claudio Zivic of the Seventy and his wife touring the mission and speaking to us at Zone Conference on Monday. That will be a fun experience!

Wednesday was our Ward Halloween Party for the primary. It was a lot of fun! Sis. Snyder and I were in charge of decorating the door while the Elders provided the candy. We (aka Sis. Snyder) drew pictures of tombstones and ghosts then cut out the words "All Hallows Eve" and stuck it on the door. I'll send pics eventually. Also, we had two pumpkins sitting outside the door ... one we carved of a dragon, and one the Elders carved of the Orlando Temple. Unfortunately, we carved them on Monday, and in the Florida humidity, pumpkins do not last long so they were already falling apart. We threw our pumpkin away after the night was over. Sis Snyder and I dressed up like dragon fairies because there was a cute inside joke between us and a 6-yr old member in the ward. We found out that night that her family had moved away the week before... :-( But it was fun!

On Halloween, we were able to offer service at the CrossPointe Church trunk-or-treat over in Lake Nona. We were the candy runners to supply the cars with candy when they were running low. We helped out for two hours and it was a lot of fun! We did not dress up as dragon fairies that time. We both had on white shirts and put scarves around our necks like ties - so we dressed as Mormon Missionaries. :-D People kept asking us if we were dressed up. We did match - in a way - but the name tags quickly showed them that it's just what we wear.

This last weekend was Stake Conference and it was great! Saturday was focused on missionary work (Pres. and Sis. Hall spoke) and Sunday was focused on temple work (the new Temple Pres and wife, Pres. and Sis. Halverson spoke). I loved Saturday night! It was amazing! Sunday morning was great as well - but I had to interpret the whole two hours for one of the hard-of-hearing members. It's exhausting work...

So, a new transfer as we continue to work with the members to build up the Lake Nona area. It's going to be hard, but we are already making progress and coming up with ideas. It'll be fun because Thanksgiving is this transfer.

Oh, so I've been trying to focus on taking all my talents from underneath the bushel... so I've started playing the piano for District Meetings. Also, Sis. Snyder likes to crochet during meals, planning, and before bed so I thought I'd give it a try and I got directions from the yarn label to make booties. I needed to do something for my new nephew, so I tried to make some ... guess they worked! But during that time, I learned that crocheting is not a talent to develop on the mission because crocheting is not a short project. Therefore, I'll set that aside for a few months ...

Tender Mercy: We are really trying to focus on serving people in the Lake Nona area. Every time we are able to help with an event, I notice how much they really do appreciate help. It's fun being able to take some stress off their shoulders and help the event go a little smoother. It makes me want to make a goal that each event I attend, I should show up early and volunteer to help for set-up, maybe even help during the event, and even to help take down if needed. There is so much stress that goes into an event, especially when there aren’t enough people to help. I like as missionaries having the time and ability to spend the whole time to help relieve at least a bit of the stress off the leaders’ shoulders. Also, it gives me the opportunity to get to know more people and improve my social skills. Honestly, even after my mission, I should have the time to show up to an activity at least thirty minutes early to lend a helping hand...

Kick the Habit

Hmmm... you want me to fill you in on the changes in the ASL program. I wish I could give you some detail, but we ourselves are being left hanging until transfer calls this Saturday. Even then, I can't promise we have any idea what is going to happen. All I know is the ASL program was originally set up by the mission because we had to work with three different stakes. Pres. Hall feels that this program needs to be run by the stakes and wards, not by the mission. We, as missionaries, should be a support and strength, not the ones to run it; so Pres. Hall has handed the program over to the stake presidents. When that happened, the Stake President decided to close the Hunters Creek unit - probably because it was so small. So, for now, the members are asked to go to the Oviedo Ward for ASL services. Unfortunately, that is far away from the South members, and there are no bus lines open on Sunday. It's causing some stress with the members, but we are working through it. On Saturday, we will find out who will be transferred where. We really have no idea what is going to happen. It's been a stressful week.

We also just had our primary sacrament meeting presentation. I loved it! The primary signed two songs in ASL. It was so cute. Also, I team interpreted with Sis. Snyder. She's still nervous, but she did well. The theme song for primary was one I heard in the MTC when the General Primary President came to speak to us. I remember when she had us memorize that song by singing it over and over again. She even noticed the ASL section and used some of our signs to help the rest of the missionaries memorize it. It was cute! Something fun we did this week was volunteer our time at the Spring of Life Methodist Church annual Fall Festival. Every year, they receive pumpkins and have a Pumpkin Patch event where every day they offer them for sale. Then they throw a Festival. It was so cute! We spent three hours helping with the cute little carnival games to help the kids have fun and bring the community together to get to know each other. We really enjoyed it, but now we are both really sore. My thighs are killing me! I think it's because I would stand, sit, kneel, squat, etc. Each time a child would come up for the game, I'd kneel down to be eye level with him. I guess from three hours of stand, kneel, stand, kneel, stand, kneel ... I had a great workout on my thighs. Too bad I have to walk up and down stairs at home and also walk around town visiting people. Ow...

This week is going to be fun as we have a Ward Halloween party on Wednesday that the youth are putting on for the primary. We will be inside the church and the doors will be decorated as the kids knock on the classroom doors to trick-or-treat. It'll be cute. We, the missionaries, are going to decorate a door and hand out candy. Sis. Snyder and I are in charge of decorating the door. The Elders will provide the candy.

Something random, so I believe last transfer, I was looking at my bitten nails - yep, the good ol' habit of biting my fingernails, and I said to myself that I don't think I will ever be able to break that habit. It's just something I do without thinking. Plus, it's not like it hurts anything - maybe it's not attractive, but it's not affecting anyone's life our anything. So, I was resigned to always have the random little quirk. Well...now I can say I've gone three weeks w/o biting my nails. How? No idea. I just decided to try to stop, so I'd play with paper, or warm fuzzies, or something to keep my hands occupied. It worked. In a way, I think it was a small way that the Lord is trying to tell me that I can accomplish any goal I set my mind to, no matter how small.... ever onward...

OH the Changes!

So, yesterday was quite an adventure! An announcement was made in the Hunters Creek Ward about the ASL program. The Stake has decided to close the Deaf unit in the ward and have the members attend the Deaf unit in Oviedo. It is a lot stronger up there and there is more activity and support. So, two weeks before transfers, all the ASL Sisters are curious at what to do. There are many changes coming. We're a bit nervous...but we put it all in the Lord's hands. We'll see what happens.

Ummm... so all our thoughts are on the shocking announcement and trying to calm down the members. I think it was a needed change to get the members up and willing to act. It's a huge challenge and it throws a lot of things into confusion, but if we trust in the Lord, it will work out all right.

We are continuing to improve and set goals for ourselves. It's a constant growth, little by little. Our work in the Lake Nona area is slow but we are spending a lot of time there and have met a lot of different people. But as of yet, none are interested in learning more about the gospel. That area really is fully dependent on the members. Without their help, we really don't think anything will happen in that area since it full of "No Trespassing" neighborhoods. Little by little .... That’s my theme.

Sorry it's so short. My mind is totally distracted with the upcoming changes. Take care. I'll make sure to have more to say next week. Loves!

Little by Little

All is going well. We've been improving in numbers each week this transfer and as a companionship we are improving in the goals we have set. I still get frustrated with myself when I know we should have done more that day but let our weaknesses get in the way. Something I have really enjoyed this week is my ability to learn a lot more from the meetings that I attend. I'm really trying to focus on getting more out of the talks and lessons. There is something to be learned as long as we are open to the spirit. Also, it has helped to have my mind focused on not just writing what I hear the speaker or teacher say, but write down the random thoughts that pop into my head during their talk. Those random thoughts can be spiritual promptings of how to help myself and help others improve in the gospel. It's given me a new perspective on how I listen. It's helped a lot. I really enjoyed Sacrament Meeting yesterday where the talks were focused on conference and they stated things I had not thought about. I love having the opportunity to open my mind more and see more perspectives, and that only comes from discussions with others. That's one reason why we can't be satisfied with being personally religious. We need to go to church not only to renew our covenants through the sacrament, but also to learn and gain inspiration from those around us. As we listen to others, and we have an open mind and hear to the spirit, it's amazing how we are more enlightened to understanding the basic principles of the gospel. You learn something new every day.

Saturday was a really fun day for us! We hadn't tried to do a lot of ASL work in a while, so we decided to contact all the referrals we've received in the last two weeks - which surprisingly has been a lot! We called up one of our Deaf members and we spent the whole day together driving from city to city, from referral to referral, and although we tried to visit eleven people and only say two, I see it as a great success. I loved it! It was a full day of silence. We signed the whole time. It was also really good for Sis. Snyder to learn more of the language. Plus, any questions or confusion I had with signs, I was able to ask about them and get it cleared up. I learned a lot and already have applied it to my signing. Little by little, I am growing.

I'm not sure what else to write. We continue onward every day. We progress and grow, even when we have those darn bumps in the road. FYI: Pres. Hall has asked me if I want to return home in Jan or March. My ministerial certificate expires in Feb, so I'd have to ask for an extension to stay until March; but if I do, it would be my exact 18-month mark. I'm suppose to pray on it, and so will Pres. Hall. I'm not sure what has been decided yet, but it will probably be March 9. We'll see...

Mighty Change of Heart

Do I use my bike? Why do you ask? I do feel a bit bad about the whole thing. Spending so much on a bike, then really not using it as much as it should be used. I've been tempted to sell my bike to another Sister, but it has my name on it! I really like the bike! But, to answer the question: we are able to use our bike every once in a while, typically about twice a month. When we use to live in Conway, we would bike to downtown almost once a week (15 miles roundtrip). This transfer, we sometimes put the bikes on the back of our car, drive to Lake Nona, then do some bike tracting (for two hours or so) because the houses are so far apart. But most of the time, it does sit in the garage. I use to want to ship the bike home after my mission, but now I'm thinking I'll just sell it to a Sister for half price.

This week went a lot better. I feel like we are improving. The work is still slow and our numbers are low, but I am learning a lot about myself! I think that is the biggest teaching that I am to learn from these last two transfers. It's an opportunity to review myself and make goals to improve and grow. It's interesting how I can know the doctrine, having learned it since I was young, but then have an "Aaha!" moment and actually understand how it personally applies to my life. I'm learning to have a lot more "Aaha" moments and trying to make sure I write them all down. One thing I learned was how to give my full will to God. I never understood how to do it, but it starts in my mind. I need to make the commitment to put aside my wishes, hopes, desires and give everything to God. I am learning how to make my wishes, hopes, desires to become in line with God's. I'm learning the purpose of this life. Of course, I knew what it was, but it's finally becoming internalized within me. I'm actually being able to make it click in my mind. I just hope I will be able to apply it to my future life. There is so much I want to do, but I fear the stresses of the world will push them down. It takes a lot of work, but I am excited for the opportunity to use my agency and make my goals become a reality. I love how the mission is a time to help us form who we want to become and prepare for the future.

General Conference was a great opportunity! In my journal, I wrote down the speaker, what they said, then my own notes and thoughts as they spoke. Also, I happen to have a sketch drawing of each of the speakers. In the middle of last week, I've decided to stop hiding all my talents under the bushel, so I threw the bushel away and I've set a new goal to be more willing to develop my piano skills, drawing skills, and whatever else I can think of. Of course, that applies more to after the mission, but I thought I'd help myself focus on the speakers by sketching them while I was listening. It was a unique experience. I still have a lot more to learn from conference, for I had asked to be given inspiration for the right questions to ask. Why? Once, I was told that we need to ask for the right questions, not the right answers, for revelation comes from the questions that we ask. And so, my notes are full of many questions that came to my mind. Now, I will need to sit down and start trying to answer those questions, and let the spirit guide my writing. It was great because many of the goals I had recently set for myself were addressed in conference and I felt it was the spirit confirming the decisions I was making for my life.

So, now that I'm growing personally, I need to work on how to apply that to the work. We have improved this week compared to the last few weeks, but we must continue forth step by step. It still feels like a struggle for me because my whole purpose to come on a mission was to learn about myself and prepare for the future. Sadly, it was never about bringing others to the church. I always have the desire to help and strengthen friends, but the more doors we knock on, the more people use their agency to reject the gospel, the more I am discouraged with people's stubborn unwillingness to learn. I prefer to be a member missionary where I can be a good example and help my friends learn, than to everyday face people again and again who reject the gospel and are satisfied with where they are in life. But, ever onward. That's life.